Congress debates artist visa bill, Tokio Hotel ponders non-profit status to continue colonization of America

It's a rough time to be a foreigner trying to breach the walls of the Impenetrable America Castle, even for a reason as innocuous and wholesome as singing a tune here and there. But now, Congress, in a completely unprecedented move toward productivity, has gotten the bright idea to try to cut some of the red tape and waiting periods required of foreign artists who want to perform in the U.S.

The bill, which the House approved Tuesday and which now goes to the Senate for consideration, would speed up the application process that requires performers to endure some combination of proving they're serious artists, hiring lawyers, visiting a consulate and paying giant fees. You can expedite the application if you have an extra $1,000 lying around for "premium processing," which these days even excludes some major-label artists, especially if the Department of Homeland Security suspects you might have a fondness for the agricultural exports of Humboldt County.

The bill would extend the application processing time to 30 days, but with free premium processing if that deadline wasn't met. The legislation would apply only to non-profit arts groups, not professional touring bands. But it's still one step closer to the great day Tokio Hotel can behold our amber waves of grain with as little bureaucracy as possible.

-- August Brown

Photo by Samuel Kubani/AFP/Getty Images