We know you don't remember Burning Man, but the group responsible for 2007's 100-foot-tall Flower and Flytrap -- they also engineered the acre-large Misting Oasis that year at Coachella -- wants you to come and throw down, warehouse-style. After the success of their Valentine's Day bash in 2008, they're ready for another go-round and are still promising a "wonderland of the senses." Hmm. Still smells like a rave to us. Whatever "it" is, Lucent L'amour will be taking over the streets of downtown L.A. with a hot, trippy mess of art, music and performance featuring Lucent Dossier Vaudeville Cirque, Imagika, Saynt, Z Trip, Random Rab, Jeremy Sole, Helios Jive, El Papa Chango, Troublemaker, Adam Freeland, J Boogie, Kazell, Jupiter, Jesse Wright, Marques Wyatt, and the Ianator. (7 p.m. - 2 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Eagle Rock's Sea and Space Explorations wants you to commune with your loved ones -- and the ones you don't yet know you love. On Friday night, gather round for a little group hypnotism with a touch of hex. Don't worry, it gets lifted. On Saturday, journey to the deepest reaches of the hot tub accompanied by a live serenade from the Sound In Space radio station. If you get bored, grab someone's hand and venture into the Spin the Bottle Shedstallation. (8 p.m., Saturday & Sunday, Feb. 13-14)

Love can make your head spin almost as quickly as a basketball balancing on the fingertips of these entert-atheletes. The Harlem Globetrotters stop by the Honda Center to show some love on Valentine's Day before continuing on their 2009 "Spinning the Globe" world tour. (1 p.m. & 7 p.m., Sat. Feb. 14)

Celebrate Valentine's Day while supporting youth literacy at this postmodern-meets-retro ball featuring special guest performances by Lori Jo DeWitt, Todd Michael Eckart and Adele Jacques. The $30 ticket also gets you an open bar and tunes spun by DJs Justin Miller, Paris Potter, and Elvin Estela from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. In case there's any doubt, this is indeed a formal event, so make sure your suit looks sharp, your hair is coiffed and your gems are polished. All proceeds will go to 826LA. Valet parking will be available. (9 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Combining the exposed heart of Valentine's Day with the exposed hearts of Friday the 13th, LACE presents their annual fundraiser event complete with a dance class from Sir Ryan Heffington and video screenings curated by the Hammer Museum's own Darin Klein. (8 p.m., Friday Feb. 13)

Captured Aural Phantasy Theater relives the romance of bygone days in its latest radio-program-styled episode featuring dramatic comic book readings. Sultry songstresses round out the performance while cabaret interludes string the love stories together. (8 p.m., Friday & Saturday Feb. 13 & 14)

Celebrate Valentine's day with a tea party straight out of Alice in Wonderland. Kulov's 9th annual Valentine's Tea Festival turns the Electric Lodge into a microcosm of old-world England complete with interactive art, workshops, tea tastings and more. This year's festival also features an exclusive performance of "Alice and the Wonderful Tea Party" by members of the Santa Monica Playhouse. (2-8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Andrew F. Smith, author of "Hamburger: A Global History" traces the history of this popular food, exploring how it has changed the ways Americans live and its impact on global cultures and economies. Appropriately themed refreshments will be served following the lecture. (10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Play the shame game with Mortified-Live!, a traveling version of the popular book series in which ordinary people relive their most embarrassing teenage moments for your schadenfreude.

The loose network of bicycle enthusiasts, rogues and hipsters, spends the Valentine weekend in Slab City, the site of an abandoned World War II base, playing zombies, which is the theme of this monthly bike meeting. Participants are advised to bring fat-tired bikes, fake blood and a significant other to share the romance and burdens of the physically-demanding camping trip. (Feb. 13-16)

Esotouric rolls through Alhambra, Temple City, Monterey Park, Rosemead and El Monte to visit the cities' mysteries and oddities while enjoying a selection of dumplings from the San Gabriel Valley's best Chinese restaurant. The bus cruises past Phil Spector's spooky castle, the site of the battling neo-Nazis of El Monte and the little bar where James Ellroy's murdered mother, Jean, had her last drink. (11:30 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Tassel-twirling burlesque dancers join forces with masked luchadors (Mexican wrestlers) for Lucha VaVoom's annual Valentine's event with two evenings of Mexican wrestling, dancing beauties and the comedic talents of Blaine Capatch, "Spongebob Squarepants" voice Tom Kenny "The Simpsons" scribe Dana Gould. Bring your loved one. Just don't forget him or her on your way out. It's the two things audiences love most: sexo y violencia. (8 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 12)

This color-coded cocktail mixer puts the singles in black, the couples in red and the confused in a hue of their choice. DJ Shy spins at this event benefiting the Step Up Women's Network, a national non-profit membership organization dedicated to strengthening community resources for women and girls. (8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Valentine's Day might be full of cliches but it's always interesting to see how they started. The famous scene from 1950's "From Here to Eternity" of Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr rolling in the waves may have very well launched the sex-on-the-beach movement. "Casablanca" rounds out this double bill as Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman play star-crossed lovers in Morocco during World War II. Here's looking at you, kid. (7:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Franco Zeffirelli's 1968 adaptation casts 15-year-old Olivia Hussey, with all her well-developed glory spilling out of her corset, as Juliet. The Best Picture nominee was shamefully denied a nod for its recognizable Nino Rota score and theme song "A Time to Love." Screens at the Egyptian as part of its "Valentine Films for Lovers" series. (7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 13)

The slapstick gal-trio arranges a triple date with the Banana Brothers for their Valentine's comedy show but romance turns fatal during the original ditty "Three Merry Murders." Kimmy Gatewood, Rebekka Johnson and Sarah Lowe play Cora, Candy and Seedy, hosts of a 1940s radio program that jumbles song, dance and mock product placement. (8 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 11)

Whether you're through with love or head over heels in it, Cinefamily's got a piece of the silver screen ready and waiting. Their Valentine's Day slate kicks off with Frank Borzage's "Seventh Heaven" at 7 p.m. This 1927 film is for lovebirds, as Charles Farrell and Janet Gaynor play two Parisians "thrown together through maudlin circumstances." But never fear, walking wounded, the evening continues at 10:30 p.m. with Mondo Valentines, a hand-picked selection of short films that include misguided sex ed. videos, helpful instructionals on "how to score" and 1970s movie-of-the-week "Like Normal People." Separate admission for the two screenings. (7 p.m. & 10:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Watch Scarlet Johansson and Bill Murray wander through Tokyo in "Lost in Translation" while nibbling from Royal/T's new small plates menu. A suitably melancholy and ambivalent pre-Valentine's Day dinner. (6 p.m. & 9 p.m., Friday, Feb. 13)

The Congregation of Forgotten Saints, a clothing store with a slant for the dark and dirty side of the rock & roll scene, hosts an art show tribute to rock royalty, the unholy martyrs of today, on the eve of St. Valentine's Day. Attendees are invited to enter the "Confessional," where they write down their deepest sins and nail them to the walls for a live art installation. The brew of participating sculptors, graffiti artists and tattooers include Mear One, known for designing the Guns n' Roses logo for the "Appetite for Destruction" tee; Cam Rackam, chief designer at Darkside skateboards who has worked with bands like Avenged Sevenfold and Slayer; and body artist Alex Garcia. (8 p.m., Friday, Feb. 13)

Bring a date to Datefest (wink, wink). Actually, it's a bargain. Snag a cheap date on the first day of this festival, when you can get in free for the first four hours.The humble date is honored by being incorporated into every dish you can imagine (and some you probably shouldn't). Milkshakes, pancakes, burritos... you name it. The fair also features rides, carnival games and all sorts of odd events including camel, ostrich & pig races, an Arabian Nights pageant, a monster truck rally, a demolition derby and a livestock auction. (10 a.m.-10 p.m., weekdays; 10 a.m.-midnight, weekends. Feb. 13-22)

Celebrate Scottish culture at this family-friendly extravaganza featuring highland athletic competition, dancing and bagpipe performances. Other highlights include Scotch whiskey tasting, a dart tournament and a variety of musical performances, including Men of Worth. (Saturday & Sunday, Feb. 14-15)

Couples enjoy an open-top double-decker bus tour through downtown, viewing the neon wonders of L.A. and the glittering stars of the night sky. Champagne and chocolate accompany this Valentine's Day celebration. (7:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Artistic director David Fofi and the Elephant Theatre Company present an evening of not-so-romantic comedy shorts that deal with the awkward aspects of love that doesn't quite work out. And what better day to kick off this festival than Valentine's Day? (Feb. 14-Mar. 14)

Stock up on artisinal olive oils, vinegars and syrups; sophisticated tabletop items, high-end honeys, rare jams and every kind of truffle product imaginable at Cube's annual Employee Discount Sale, where shoppers receive 40% off their entire purchase either in the store or online. (Thursday, Feb. 12 - Saturday, Feb. 14)

Looking to unleash your wild side? A spin-off of the popular Rubber Ball in London hits L.A. for three days of rubber and latex love. On Friday, the festival kicks off with Masque, a "fetish feast and erotic cabaret" at El Cid (sold out). On Saturday, the Monte Cristo will host Rubberotica, a latex fashion show featuring music by DJ Xris Smack ($20 advance/$30 door). On Sunday "Fetish Weekend" purveyors will make their way to the larger "Erotic, Exotic & Toxic Valentine's Fetish Ball" at downtown's Club 740 ($30). (Friday-Sunday, Feb. 13-15)

Behind the pre-packaged SpongeBob SquarePants valentines is the story of how the mass produced cards began in the 1850s, when courting etiquette for a young lady began to shift. (12-4 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

A tour of Venice Beach precedes this scavenger hunt along the famous boardwalk. The catch is that it's a couples-only event: pairs of friends, siblings, lovers are all welcome. Participants meet at 100 Ocean Front Walk in Venice. (2-5 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

Participants are encouraged to park-and-play, ie. pub crawl, in this scavenger hunt that pairs singles who want to "meet and tweet." Teams access clues through Twitter and post pictures on Flickr during this web 2.0-friendly mixer. Costumes and comfortable walking shoes recommended. Follow the event Twitter (@Looking4Love) for updates leading up to and throughout the hunt. (12-4 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)

The third Sunday of every month, the owners of Flying Pigeon LA bike shop, brothers Adam and Josef Bray-Ali, lead the Get Sum Dim Sum Ride to a different Chinese restaurant. Get a deliciously (un)healthy dose of bao, shu-mai, har gao and more. You can ride your own two-wheeler or borrow a Flying Pigeon for free; bicycle reservations recommended. And if you end up buying a bike, the Bray boys will buy you lunch. February's destination: the Kitchen in Alhambra. Meet at 10 a.m. for a prompt 10:30 a.m. departure; ride usually ends between 1 and 1:30 p.m. (Sunday, Feb. 15)

The Cicada Club continues their weekly forays into Flapper-era leisure with a tribute to the long-gone Ambassador Hotel and it's slightly-less-gone nightclub, the Cocoanut Grove. Dean Mora and his Orchestra provide the evening's snazzy big band tunes. Dance the lindy or the foxtrot, or take a gander at Valentino's Costumes' Tropical Fashion Parade. (9 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 15)

Machine Project's artist-in-residence Emily Lacy serenades the broken-hearted with a post-Valentine's Day evening of songs about breakups, heartbreak, affliction and regret. Come with hankies in hand; crying is encouraged. (8 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 15)

USC students perform "The Vagina Monologues" followed by a discussion with the play's author Eve Ensler and Congolese doctor Dr. Denis Mukwege. As part of V-Day's "Turning Pain to Power Tour," Ensler and Mukwege will speak about the ongoing violence against women in the Democratic Republic of Congo, and what is being done to stop it. (8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 14)